Now I've found the greatest love of all is mine
Since You laid down Your life, the greatest sacrifice
It's a song lyric - the pre-chorus (if that's the technical musical term here) to the worship song "Majesty". I'm not sure who the original performer/writer of the song is, but on my computer I have the version by Delirious.
Anyways, I was at church (Flood) tonight for the 6pm service, going by myself as per usual. I was looking forward to it, as I was having a pretty decent day. Woke up in the morning and went on a three-mile run along Mission Beach, had breakfast with two of my fellow runners at The Mission, sent out some emails about the marathon and raising money for the LLS, did my laundry, and had a nice weight lifting session at the gym. And to top it off, The Gate Called Beautiful (Flood's house worship ban) was having their first day back from maternity leave.
So I was actually very pleased with how I was spending my Valentine's Day as a single guy. Yeah, there were the jokes I'd tweet about celebrating "Independence Day" and the usual reference to "Single's Awareness Day", but there wasn't any sadness about being alone. In my mind, it was just another day (and thankfully for me a productive one).
But there I was at church, and it was during the post-message worship session that I felt hit. The band was leading us in the song, and it's one we've sang as a church many times before, and so I was singing it. But when we got to that set of lyrics I quoted up there, and the words resonated in a different way this time, I was just struck with the realization that I wasn't alone after all. That even though I'm not in a relationship or dating someone to share and celebrate all this love stuff with today, I suddenly remembered that I'm loved so deeply and passionately by a God who's faithful and whose grace and love have zero bounds.
Earlier in his message, Matt (our pastor) recounted a time when he was 17 and went to a youth group event at his church because the cute girls were going to be there. But as he was going through the motions of worship, he said he felt God grab a hold of his heart. That it was inexplicable, but that he felt the call to start following Him. And so for me tonight, it was somewhat surreal to have a similar experience -- to be standing there in His presence, feeling loved in the midst of my solitude, tears just coming out of nowhere, trying to hold it back because I felt silly but then just embracing the moment and continuing to sing out the rest of the song with everyone else. But this time, with a different feeling.
Majesty, Majesty
Your grace has found me just as I am
Empty handed but alive in Your hands
Majesty, Majesty
Forever I am changed by Your love
In the beauty of Your majesty
3 comments:
Ry - that is so beautiful. I too know this feeling of being loved by such an awesome God. I know that I will never be alone. That he has blessed me in so many ways.
Ry: I love you.
Thanks so much for sharing what's going on with you so personally. I'm excited for you. :)
this is beautiful Ryan! I've had this exact moment so many times in church, or while reading my bible. It's always powerful to stop and reflect on God's love for us. Often times, when I do, I almost feel like I've been slapped across the face (in a good way).
I love this post!! You should post more often, you're a good lil writer :)
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